I feel like I should apologize to myself for not blogging in over a month.
Just to let myself know: you've had a real tough time these past weeks, Wil, but you're getting more on top of things, emotionally. You're being productive and making more art. You even wrote a song tonight; the one about your scent. Today you had a really nice time with a very handsome new friend and you weren't as awkward as you would have expected yourself to be. Though you totally rambled wayyyyyyyy toooooo muuuuuuch. You should try not do that next time you two hang out; maybe try talk about cool things like fixies and veganism and celebrities you've met. Don't talk about planets and what things make you cry tears of joy, 'kay? SICK.
The last month in dot points:
- Sexual Assault.
- Police reports.
- Shrink sessions. *disclaimer* i'm bigger than i was before.
- Loss of enthusiasm.
- Writer's block.
- Writer's un-block.
- Queer outrage.
I keep going out and meeting new people who are pretty nice and easy to chat to but you know how tiring it is telling people things about yourself? Yeah, it's like filling out a million quizes on facebook and/or myspace where most of the questions are actually the same, just worded different. Even questions that are asked by the one person within five minutes of talking.
It turned into Friday about two hours ago and I am supposed to be painting/sanding my mother's fence by 11:00. I'm pretty tired and I'm thinking about a conversation I had with Caitlin tonight about how I lay in bed in sleeping position but don't sleep until a few hours later when I realize that "sleeping position" is actually quite difficult to feel comfortable in when you're straining so much to stay still. I've had a real sore neck all today and yesterday, though it seems to be getting better. I slept wrong. (I dislike this term because I've never been taught how to sleep and I think it should just come naturally but I haven't so obviously I fail and sleep wrong quite often). My neck's been pinching like crazy when I move my head to an undefined angle which catches me off guard. This makes me not want to move at all so I know I will
have trouble falling asleep tonight. Sleeping is easier if you're moving.
Last night while way drunk, I thought that wearing shorts made me feel warmer than wearing pants because the juxtaposition between the temperature on my calves and the temperature on my thighs was a sure indication of how cold the air was in comparison to the rest of me. It was also a sure indication that I'm slowly losing my mind.
Wil, go to sleep.
Write something decent about lovehearts and feelings after the weekend.
x I have decided I want to meet pool sharks who are really good at flirting.