Thursday, April 2, 2009

Srsly Fk.

I haven't been this sick in five million brazillion hours. My ears feel like they're bleeding and the only things I can swallow are delicious iceypoles made by very un-delicious companies. My nose is starting to clear up though, which is real nice, because I hadn't felt that clogged since when I would eat like 394790432293 dairy products a day. Last night I was giving myself my shot but I was shaking way too much so Melissa helped out (She was at my house because I nagged her for about five hours to bring me lemonade. Nice lady, nice lady). It was the most stressful event of my day. I broke the vial with my left thumb and glass shattered and went everywhere, including into me.

Melissa distracted me from my throbbing headache by discussing other things that made me throb. We talked about the hot boys in our life and how she's always read as straight. I talked about the boy I asked on a date when I was out clubbing and stood him up the next day because I had no recolection of him thanks to binge drinking. After Melissa'd gone home, I watched some pilates infomercials and felt bad about my body so went to bed. When I woke up this morning (at about 8) I put Bill Murray outside and had a wee then went back to bed. I re-woke up to thunder and lightening and rain and hail and the house half flooded and a very grumpy dalmation (too dumb to figure out how to use his kennel) looking in through the window at me, soaking wet.

Bill Murray looks heaps weird when he's wet because all of his spots that are on his skin but not on his coat, show through and he looks like a multi-layered creature. Kinda like if you wet a marble spongecake and squish it a bit. He's all kinda grey and dirty looking. He's currently on the couch next to me, having a dream. Little barks and a lot of running. I love him so much. I feel real bad that I slept so late and that he had to be outside in the storm. He seems fine now though.

I feel like crap. I'm gonna curl up, watch Oprah and most probably get annoyed at it. I think it's a make-over special. If I hear one comment about "hiding fat" or losing weight, I'm going to kill someone. Holy crap. As I typed that, Oprah said something about the clothes draping around your body, no matter what your size. Fuck that.

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